I met Sherry about 8 years ago. She was a woman who sat in the very back at church and seemed very content with her life, she never asked for anything and didn't want anything that seemed like charity. She didn't have much and couldn't work. We stayed just acquaintances for many years, which on reflection has made me very sad. I became more aware of Sherry and her kindness when we attended an auction for the scouts, she had crocheted a blanket that turned into a pillow that was auctioned off. Knowing Sherry's situation in life, we bid on it, and kept bidding on it until we won it. My boys loved it and she saw that they were fighting over it, so in just over two weeks time she made two more, brought them to church and gave them to my boys. "Now they each will have their own" she said. That may not seem like much to most people, but she used what yarn she had, to earn what she could to buy her food. I offered to pay for them and she wouldn't let me. That is the true beginning of our friendship.
I asked her to make a few baby blankets for me, which she let me buy. She would tell me how much they were and I would pay her double, because she charged way to little for her beautiful work. Our friendship started to grow stronger when I was called to be the person in charge of the ladies organization in my church. It was going to be a lot of work, I felt very unqualified and inadequate for the task in front of me. The weird thing is that I knew it was coming, I could feel it. She looked at me, smiled and said you will be good at this.
Within about a year after this, I had been diagnosed with Celiac Sprue. An autoimmune disorder which left me unable to eat many of the things that I had in my pantry. I went to my friend and asked her if she could help me so I wouldn't have to throw away good food. She excepted and I took her way more than she was expecting. She was very grateful and I was so grateful to have been able to find away to help her without her refusal.
A few years past, I was still busy with the ladies organization, but my friend was having trouble. In her eyes there was pain. I would see her in tears often and sometimes she wasn't there. I would beg her to go to the doctor, but she would say it was just her arthritis in her back. She hated doctors and anything like a doctor. She got a bad cough that took forever to go away. Then one day I was helping her to her van because the pain was so bad that she had to go home and then I really started to worry.
She wasn't at church for a couple of weeks and then I received a call that she had been taken to a local hospital. I raced there and arrived soon after she did. She had been unable to get up, she tried and fell. Being a large women they had to call the fire department to get her up. They were able to talk her into going to the hospital. She was frightened and so was I, but I talked her into staying so that we could find out what was wrong. They ran tests and the next day they found the cause, it was breast cancer that had gone untreated for years and spread. Her mother had died of breast cancer. She wanted to leave and just go home and not face what was happening. We talked and talked and talked, I promised her we would do it together. She finally decided that she would undergo some radiation treatments. They told her if she did she would have 6 months to a year of life. If she didn't it would be 3 months.
My friend was unable to walk due to the cancer in her bones and her weight. So they put her in a nursing home. I went to visit her there just a couple of times. I had to have some foot surgery and the smells there were more than I could bare. Thankfully within a couple of months she was able to find a spot at the local Hospice center. At first I went about once every couple of weeks, because she had lots of visitors. One day I was sitting at home and it hit me. I had promised her that we would do this together,where was I in the together part of this, so I started going there on a regular basis, at least twice a week.
One day she looked at me and said, you are so busy, you don't have to come here so often. I smiled and said "I promised you we would do this together, girl your stuck with me to the end." The months past and our friendship grew more than I could ever have imagined. She truly became my sister and I truly loved her. As the time wore on and the days grew short, I went every other day. When she would wake up and see me sitting there she would apologize for sleeping and I would remind her that I'm there because I just want to be with her. In the last week it was pretty rough, she thought she had the stomach flu and she didn't want me to get it so I didn't get to visit for a couple of days. The next time I saw her was the day before she left, she could talk a little but couldn't open her eyes. Her sister, her dad and a neighbor was there, as I walked up to her bed I touched her head and told her about how beautiful it was outside, about how much I loved her and that she was my friend, that she was important to me. I talked to her as I always had and she quietly said I'm ready to go now. Tears streamed down my face as I fought for control. I said than go my friend you know we will be ok here. Eyes still closed she said I love you, I love you to my friend. I waited there for several hours as her family talked with her, with some response, but not much. We had a tradition when I left her room I would stop at the door, wave and tell her I loved her. When I left I stopped at the door, said my goodbyes to her family and walked away. I turned back around, walked to her door,stopped and called bye Sherry I love you. She waved her hand and said some words that we knew was I love you Arlene. The next morning was Thanksgiving and I was at Hospice early that day and stayed for a couple of hours. Her sister, father and I talked to her with no response. We all told her that we loved her and that we would miss her but she could go. As I left I knew it would be the last time I saw her still alive. I received a call a couple of hours later, that she had peacefully left us.
When I went back to Hospice to meet with her family and friends, I will never forget how different it felt. When I was there that morning the room was empty but felt crowded and then the room was crowded and felt empty.
Sherry lived for 9 months longer than was expected. She worked on things she loved until about a week before she left us. I counted everyday with her a blessing. She was a true friend and I miss her very much. I wont remember the day of the month that she left, but I will always remember the time of year, because I was truly Thankful for her.
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