The World According to Arlene

Soul Searching and Music

2010-04-16T17:23:03Z

I don't know if most people would put these two together, but for me they do go together. Music has always been a big part of my life. No, I'm not musical in anyway, but I love to hear music and feel it. I LOVE to dance, but don't do it very often. Anyone who knows me well knows how much I love to dance, especially with friends. Right Anita!

Since our move to California I've been struggling with many things. I struggled with them before, but was able to avoid them somewhat with the distractions in my life. Unfortunately here my distractions are far less so all those struggles have finally made their way all the way to the front, which is so good in many ways and yet extremely hard in many others. So this is what leads me to my soul searching. The definition of soul searching is - the act or process of close and penetrating analysis of oneself, to determine one's true motives and sentiments. Perfect definition for what I'm doing. The thing is when doing soul searching you ultimately come to a point where you have to come to a conclusion, which is always the hard part for me.
We do have external forces to turn too, such as religion, counselors, friends, family, clergy, food, exercise, shopping and for you there might be something not listed, I would have to add music for me. I listen to most music with a few exceptions, I like some rap, but on the most part it's not my favorite, heavy metal is an occasional thing and depends on who it is, jazz I like especially to swing dance too, but ultimately it always depends on the mood. Music has a calming affect on me, even some of the more extreme songs like Three days Grace "Animal I've become", I turn it up loud, sometimes sing and sometimes not, but then I feel better. I like to go to church early so that I can sit and listen to the music being played, it comforts me and gives me strength. But no music or other external help can take away the problems that seem to come our way. They are there to give us HELP not to remove them for us. We ultimately have to come to our own conclusions and find our own answers, based on the knowledge that we have and the strength that we have inside us at the time. But to my friends out there soul searching like myself I have two songs for you "Juanita" by Shania Twain and the other is called " Hold On" by B*witched it's from The Princess Diaries soundtrack. The first one is easy to find, the second was given to me by a friend before I moved here to California, but we both agree it fits better now than it did then. I will include the words below.

Hold on
You've always been a tough girl
But you feel you're about to break.
You're feeling stuck and out of luck
Watching your dreams all slip away.
You've been working mornings in the kitchen
and nights at the corner store.

As your life flies by you wonder why
And you know that there's gotta be something more.

[Chorus]
Hold On
But don't hold too tight
let go its gonna be alright
Don't run away from what your heart is saying
Ohh Be strong
Face what you're afraid of
Come on
Show them what you're made of
I know its hard when your hope is gone
But you gotta keep holding on.

[Verse 2]
You hear a voice thats calling
And its telling you to make a change.
It's time to fly
And say goodbye
And move on to a better place
You know you gotta take the first step
To get where you wanna be

Just get on track and don't look back
Cause its the only way you're gonna be free.

[Chorus]

Hold On
Your gonna make it
Your gonna be stronger
Hold On
Hang in there baby
Just a little bit longer
Hold On
There your gonna be fine
Dont give up
Be strong
When the going gets tough
You gotta Hold On
Hold On

[Chorus X 2]

Yeahhhhh
Hold On
Hold On
Hold On

Recent Trip

2010-03-29T23:14:55Z

I recently took a trip to Alabama to see Pauline and other friends. It was nice to get away and I LOVE the south. I'm definitely a southern girl in my heart, even though I was raised in the North. It was a wonderful trip filled with lots of visiting, laughing and some crying too. This is what normally happens when we get together. One of the strangest things about this trip for me was the travel to and back...

I left San Jose on March 17th my flight left at 6 am. I really don't like flying very much at all and would prefer to drive everywhere I go, but unfortunately sometimes it's just not possible. I was on a small airplane, but I didn't mind, because I always book an isle seat. When on walks a tall man 6'6" or so with a big barrel chest. Right behind him was a younger man about 24 and about the same height, a bit smaller but definitely a large guy by most standards. With them was a young man about my height, probably 12 or 13 and he to was built very solidly. I want you to know when I say big, I mean very solid not over weight. The older man and the youngest boy sat behind me and the 24 ish year old was my seat mate.

We introduced ourselves and I thought that would be that, because I wanted to nap. But I could tell he was nervous. I asked him if he he'd traveled much and he said that he did, but he didn't like little planes. So we started visiting. George and I had a wonderful time, we talked about where we were going, what we were going to do once we got there. We talked about where we lived, which he lives about 10 miles from where I live. We talked about work. He works here in Morgan Hill. It was one of my most enjoyable flights! He was such a sweetheart.

As I boarded my flight in Salt Lake to come back to San Jose, I was making my way back to my seat and I heard a voice call my name and it was my friend George. The funniest thing is we were seated next to each other again. Different side of the airplane and different rows from last time. I didn't even know when he was flying back. We were both shocked and happy. I was happy because I was seated next to him my friend instead of the two men that were flirting with me from my last flight. They had asked me to trade seats with one of their seat mates so we could "talk" more. Not that I was seated by them on the last flight, thankfully, but I had run into them in the isle a few times. I like to get up and stretch on flights. But when they saw I knew George my seat mate, they left me alone. Yeah!

I think it's pretty amazing that we were on the same flight and that we were seat mates again. I haven't had an opportunity to go to Starbucks and see my friend yet but I hope to later in the week. Another funny thing is that when I put on my headphones and was listening to a little music (sometimes I listen to it pretty load), he laughed because he had the same songs. Small world isn't it!

So now I have a new good friend, George...

Vacation February 2010

2010-02-27T00:20:26Z

We recently went on a Disney cruise to Nassau, Castaway Cay (Disney's private Island) and then had a day at sea. We boarded the ship on Feb. 14 and disembarked about 9:00 am on Feb. 18. Our first night we had about 6 ft waves and it made a few in our party feel a bit under the weather. Even I felt a bit queasy now and again. When we awoke we were in beautiful Nassau the weather was a bit warmer probably upper 60's maybe 71. The Bahamians were all wearing there fleece and pretty much everyone who left the ship were in shorts. Such tourists.. LOL! Everyone in our party had an activity to do. I fortunately was the photographer for the dolphin group. Julie, Charlie and Matt were able to get in the water with some beautiful creatures who were very happy to see them. My favorite was that all the dolphins were there only because of injury and were being well cared for. A couple of them really liked having their picture taken. It was wonderful to interact with them through my camera..

Castaway Cay was our next day. It was overcast, windy and raining off and on in the morning. By midday the sun had come out, it was still pretty windy but at least it wasn't miserable. We went to the beautiful beach and I left on my clothes. It was just too cold for me to set foot in the water or anything. Now the boys did go swimming and were met in the water by several stingrays that would swim past just to check them out. Of course it freaked them out along with the grownups in the water. Not me I was safe on dry land just watching them coast by.

Our day at sea was nice. They turned the ship south and traveled a bit further into the Bahamas to try to give us warmer weather and calmer seas. I personally still wore my jacket the whole day. I didn't get much sun at all on our cruise. I stayed very covered and warm. They boys seemed to have a great day at sea, by this day they all had made lots of friends and enjoyed playing with them when ever they could. Before dinner we turned back north and headed for shore. We had fairly rough seas 16ft waves, but by the time we hit the worst of it mostly everyone was asleep of course except me.

We had to disembark early in the morning so we had a quick breakfast with our wonderful waitstaff and went ashore. Where we were greeted by more Disney people who put us on a bus to go to our hotel. We stayed at Disney's Coronado Springs resort. Well the next three days were spent walking Disney's many theme parks.

I don't know if it was because of my Celiac or because I'm skinny, which ever it was our waitstaff insisted on bringing me two entrees and two desserts sometimes. I felt obligated to eat at least part of them and was dreading the scale. But thankfully nothing gained, and nothing lost. So I was even....Wooo Hooo!

I Love You, I Love You Not

2010-02-26T23:45:01Z

This movie is based on the play by Wendy Kesselman.. Daisy is a teenage girl played by Claire Danes. Her grandmother Nana is played by Jeanne Moreau. Daisy's grandmother shares with her stories of her life in a concentration camp. Daisy herself is experiencing some anti-Semitism in the private school she attends and imagines the two different scenarios in parallel. I thought it was well done and brought to light how young people in general take different things and apply them to the life they are living... Would I recommend it? Only to certain people, not because its not a movie worth watching but more because you have to really read between the lines....

Perfect Fit

2010-02-01T23:19:47Z

A modern tale of Pride and Prejudice. This was fun to read. The characters were pretty well defined, especially if you have read the original Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin. The characters have very similar personalities to the original, it is just set in New York and in the present. The story is familiar, but also different enough to leave you guessing a little. Oh how would it be to have a billionaire fall in love with you, heck even just a millionaire. Well ladies we all know that just doesn't happen every day. William Darcy is a man of good taste tho ladies, he likes to buy Elizabeth very expensive shoes, with very high heels. Why is it that men like women in high heels? Of course they make our legs look good, but what else is it. Who knows, it is one of those mysteries. Back to the book. It took me awhile to read it. I enjoyed it, but it wasn't a quick read. My definition of a quick read is something I usually can read in a day or two of casual reading. This was a take your time kind of book. This book has some sensual parts, so if you don't like to read about passion and sex, I would suggest not reading it. I also have to say it had a few too many "Ohhhhh baby's" for my taste. Really who says that stuff?

It is definitely a romantic book, so if your not in the mood for a little romance you should find a different book.

Exercise and me

2010-01-14T19:30:01Z

Most people hate to hear me say that I'm getting in shape or that I have to lose weight, because I'm a good size already. By comparison to most, I'm pretty small. I'm not going to go on and on about how much I want to lose or anything else. Because we all know what will happen, I will hear you don't need to lose any weight, you're not fat, what I would give to have your body etc.... But I'm not where I want to be.. That is that. I have set goals that I want to achieve, and am working my way to them.

My main goal right now is toning. To tone you actually have to burn excess fat and turn it into muscle. Burning fat is the hard part. To burn fat you have to take in less calories than you use on a daily basis. I have had 3 children, not to mention they were big babies by most peoples standards. This stretches the skin making it easier for most of us women to just say I'll never look as good as I once did so why try. Well I don't think like that.

So what does that mean for me. I have been exercising almost every day for about two weeks now. I walk/ run anywhere from 2 to 4 miles, plus I use the bike at the gym, for a couple more miles and spend some time on the machines sculpting. I have cut my calorie intake way down, by watching portions, by eating much smarter and counting those calories.

I love the way I feel when I exercise, I always have. Not only the endorphins that my body releases, but I love the physical exertion. As I start a rep the feeling of my muscles contracting and relaxing, the burn that can only be felt as your muscles tear in order to let new cells form. I love the feeling when walking, of forcing myself to just keep going faster, and feel the muscles in my legs burn until you reach that plateau where it is easy again for a while. It is something that no one can describe to you, you just have to feel it yourself, it takes me to my happy place....I know strange, but I love it!

Yes, I have exercised off and on pretty much most of my adult life, whether lifting weights, power walking or classes. I'm glad that I have because I feel good about myself. I may not be the sexiest person out there, but I'm comfortable in my own skin. Does that mean I like to put on a swim suit and strut around for everyone to see, no it doesn't. But I at least put it on.

On the other side of exercising. I have 3 older sisters Judy, Marcia, and Helen. Helen is 3 years older than I am, she had her first heart attack at 25, yes I said 25, she had a triple bypass. A few years ago she had a pacemaker put in, today she is on the heart transplant list. Marcia had her first heart attack about 4 years ago, she is I think 4 years older than me, she might be 5 years. Judy well we wont go into all of Judy's conditions, they are far to many to name.

After Marcia had her heart attack, I was talking to my doctor Dick Swartz. He used to be a very well known heart surgeon before an accident that left him unable to operate, so he became a family doctor. He is also a very dear friend of mine. He contacted a friend who was a heart surgeon and sent me in for some test, echocardiogram, stress test and who knows what else, I was there for hours. I wont go into how gorgeous this doctor was, but he was fine ladies. Before I left he told me that I had the heart of a 25 year old and to keep doing whatever it was that I was doing. Quite the pickup line I thought!

So if for no other reason, we should exercise for our health....Even if you don't want to put on a swimsuit.

Target

2010-01-14T02:30:09Z

Today I needed to run to Target to get a few things, mainly moisturizer for my face. I need one with more SPF, the one that I currently have only has 15 and I wanted more. I like it when people think I'm younger than I really am and I'd like to keep it that way.

I walked around put a few items in my cart that I needed and went to look at the moisturizers, man there are a lot of them. Some pretty pricey! I found one that had SPF 30 so I thought this is the one. I also found a coupon for it on the self so I was happy.

I walked up to the register to pay for my items and started a conversation with the older checkout lady. I laughed and said I hope that cream works, when I handed her the coupon. She started telling me she is 71 years old and started listing all the face work she has had done. Her eyes, a face lift, and her forehead (which was cut from one side to the other). I have to say I wouldn't have guessed she was 71, she looked great and didn't even look like she had any surgery done. You know how peoples faces looked pulled, hers didn't. Her forehead was flatter than mine.

She did tell me that if she could lose 50 pounds she would have a tummy tuck, but didn't know if she would be able to do that.

She gave me the name of her Doctor. I didn't ask for it, I guess she thought I needed it!!!!. LOL! She even wrote it down for me. Then she informed me that he is in Southern California. To Bad!

I hope next time I go to Target I can see my new friend!

My friend Sherry

2010-01-13T17:14:44Z

I met Sherry about 8 years ago. She was a woman who sat in the very back at church and seemed very content with her life, she never asked for anything and didn't want anything that seemed like charity. She didn't have much and couldn't work. We stayed just acquaintances for many years, which on reflection has made me very sad. I became more aware of Sherry and her kindness when we attended an auction for the scouts, she had crocheted a blanket that turned into a pillow that was auctioned off. Knowing Sherry's situation in life, we bid on it, and kept bidding on it until we won it. My boys loved it and she saw that they were fighting over it, so in just over two weeks time she made two more, brought them to church and gave them to my boys. "Now they each will have their own" she said. That may not seem like much to most people, but she used what yarn she had, to earn what she could to buy her food. I offered to pay for them and she wouldn't let me. That is the true beginning of our friendship.

I asked her to make a few baby blankets for me, which she let me buy. She would tell me how much they were and I would pay her double, because she charged way to little for her beautiful work. Our friendship started to grow stronger when I was called to be the person in charge of the ladies organization in my church. It was going to be a lot of work, I felt very unqualified and inadequate for the task in front of me. The weird thing is that I knew it was coming, I could feel it. She looked at me, smiled and said you will be good at this.

Within about a year after this, I had been diagnosed with Celiac Sprue. An autoimmune disorder which left me unable to eat many of the things that I had in my pantry. I went to my friend and asked her if she could help me so I wouldn't have to throw away good food. She excepted and I took her way more than she was expecting. She was very grateful and I was so grateful to have been able to find away to help her without her refusal.

A few years past, I was still busy with the ladies organization, but my friend was having trouble. In her eyes there was pain. I would see her in tears often and sometimes she wasn't there. I would beg her to go to the doctor, but she would say it was just her arthritis in her back. She hated doctors and anything like a doctor. She got a bad cough that took forever to go away. Then one day I was helping her to her van because the pain was so bad that she had to go home and then I really started to worry.

She wasn't at church for a couple of weeks and then I received a call that she had been taken to a local hospital. I raced there and arrived soon after she did. She had been unable to get up, she tried and fell. Being a large women they had to call the fire department to get her up. They were able to talk her into going to the hospital. She was frightened and so was I, but I talked her into staying so that we could find out what was wrong. They ran tests and the next day they found the cause, it was breast cancer that had gone untreated for years and spread. Her mother had died of breast cancer. She wanted to leave and just go home and not face what was happening. We talked and talked and talked, I promised her we would do it together. She finally decided that she would undergo some radiation treatments. They told her if she did she would have 6 months to a year of life. If she didn't it would be 3 months.

My friend was unable to walk due to the cancer in her bones and her weight. So they put her in a nursing home. I went to visit her there just a couple of times. I had to have some foot surgery and the smells there were more than I could bare. Thankfully within a couple of months she was able to find a spot at the local Hospice center. At first I went about once every couple of weeks, because she had lots of visitors. One day I was sitting at home and it hit me. I had promised her that we would do this together,where was I in the together part of this, so I started going there on a regular basis, at least twice a week.

One day she looked at me and said, you are so busy, you don't have to come here so often. I smiled and said "I promised you we would do this together, girl your stuck with me to the end." The months past and our friendship grew more than I could ever have imagined. She truly became my sister and I truly loved her. As the time wore on and the days grew short, I went every other day. When she would wake up and see me sitting there she would apologize for sleeping and I would remind her that I'm there because I just want to be with her. In the last week it was pretty rough, she thought she had the stomach flu and she didn't want me to get it so I didn't get to visit for a couple of days. The next time I saw her was the day before she left, she could talk a little but couldn't open her eyes. Her sister, her dad and a neighbor was there, as I walked up to her bed I touched her head and told her about how beautiful it was outside, about how much I loved her and that she was my friend, that she was important to me. I talked to her as I always had and she quietly said I'm ready to go now. Tears streamed down my face as I fought for control. I said than go my friend you know we will be ok here. Eyes still closed she said I love you, I love you to my friend. I waited there for several hours as her family talked with her, with some response, but not much. We had a tradition when I left her room I would stop at the door, wave and tell her I loved her. When I left I stopped at the door, said my goodbyes to her family and walked away. I turned back around, walked to her door,stopped and called bye Sherry I love you. She waved her hand and said some words that we knew was I love you Arlene. The next morning was Thanksgiving and I was at Hospice early that day and stayed for a couple of hours. Her sister, father and I talked to her with no response. We all told her that we loved her and that we would miss her but she could go. As I left I knew it would be the last time I saw her still alive. I received a call a couple of hours later, that she had peacefully left us.

When I went back to Hospice to meet with her family and friends, I will never forget how different it felt. When I was there that morning the room was empty but felt crowded and then the room was crowded and felt empty.

Sherry lived for 9 months longer than was expected. She worked on things she loved until about a week before she left us. I counted everyday with her a blessing. She was a true friend and I miss her very much. I wont remember the day of the month that she left, but I will always remember the time of year, because I was truly Thankful for her.

Thanks Jon! You may have saved my life.

2010-01-08T19:16:28Z

Right now I am so thankful that I had the training that I did in my karate classes. Not only did Jon teach me so many great self defense methods, he also taught me how to be aware of my surroundings. I think that might have made all the difference in my life today.

A few weeks ago there was a rape in Morgan Hill. A woman was out running and was attacked. I always watch around me especially when I'm alone, but with that news I have been much more aware. Today it was close to the end of my walk/run. I usually do about 2 to 3 miles. I was in a remote part of the neighborhood, where there are no houses currently. To my left, past a ditch, a small park like area is a road, to my right a field area and in front of me ditch, field and fence. I saw a white Suburban slow down on the road to my left and the next thing I saw he was on the road across the field to my right from me. I acted like I didn't notice and kept walking towards one of the roads at the far end of the remote area. Then they turned onto the road that led straight to me and nowhere else. In my head I was thinking, "if I can get to the end of this street before he gets too close I can get across the field to the houses." So I kept on walking but much faster and they kept approaching slowly. By the time they turned on the street that was nearest to me I was half way across the field and almost to safety. They sped up and I ran and was all the way to the street by the time they reached the end of the road. They quickly turned around and went back the way they came. By the time they were able to get back out, I was on a neighborhood street with houses, cars and people. They stopped at the stop sign and watched me and then went the other direction. They turned down a side street and I went full throttle home. I knew some men were working on a house across the park in front of my house and there are usually people walking dogs in that park. We have two parks in our neighborhood. So I knew if I could at least get close to my house someone would hear or see. Thankfully I didn't see them again.

So I guess no more exercising by myself for awhile. Too bad--I was really enjoying those endorphins.

Dear John

2010-01-04T20:21:41Z

I needed a book for a trip just over a month ago so I grabbed this one. I had seen a preview for the movie and thought I might like the book. Yes, It is a typical Nicholas Sparks book, but it's a good one. I could really relate to what the characters were feeling. I know most men out there wont admit to reading a Nicholas Sparks book. I know Paul would never read one, but if you could bring yourself to read one, I think it should be this one. It is a fast read so it's not like your sacrificing a lot of time.

Vampire Eyes

2010-01-04T03:35:37Z

Yesterday I visited a new gym that is opening near my home. Typical thing for the New Year, feeling like a marshmallow and want to get back in shape. I walked in and a woman came over and introduced herself. Her eyes were the scariest eyes that I have ever seen. They were a brown color with red edges and red streaks. Freakyyyyyy! I immediately thought Vampire! This woman has Vampire eyes, at least how they describe them in books and the movies. I am thankful that I have manners and could keep from staring, but it was hard! They do walk among us!!!!! LOL!

Out with 2009

2010-01-01T17:42:45Z

I can't believe it's New Years Eve and on the threshold of a new year. The past year has held so many changes for me. With the biggest and hardest for me, being our move to California. Most people who know me, know I'm a pretty level headed person. At least most of the time, there are a few gray areas, but all in all I try to be. I am finally starting to adjust to living in California. Do I like it yet? NO! I feel completely out of place here.

It's hard to go to the grocery store and ask a question. Either they can't understand you or you can't understand them.

The other issue is the smells. Man, does it sometime smell awful around here! I have an exaggerated sense of smell so everything that most people smell is stronger and worse for me. We have mushroom farms and garlic farms and who knows about the other farms that I haven't even experienced yet. We live in a small town just south of San Jose and I LOVE the area because it's not so cramped, and less of a big city. It is an oasis and it feels perfect except for the smells.

As for the California weather that I had heard so much about. Most of the time it is foggy, cloudy and or rainy. The sun does show more than it would in Ohio right now, but I've been told that right now it is the rainy season. So I'm still waiting for all the gorgeous weather.

I never had any desire to move to California and anyone who knows me knows why. Lets say it together E A R T H Q U A K E S ! Thankfully I haven't felt one, but I don't relax about it either.

Other than our move the year had been a good one for us. We all were pretty healthy and happy. Except of course the boys when they didn't get their way. I asked David if he wanted us to go on the strictest parents television show, but he declined. He always tells me how grateful he is that he has a cool Mom and that he is just a teenager, he is supposed to complain.

So with the new year in front of me, I say a prayer thanking for the past and one for the future also.

My thoughts on Michael Jackson

2009-07-13T19:58:32Z

After hearing the shocking news of Michael Jackson's early death, I would have to say that I was stunned. We had heard rumors that his health wasn't the greatest, but this actual death was hard for me to grasp. I will miss Michael Jackson. No, I didn't know him personally, and I've never been to a single concert or show he did. But Michael taught me a lot. He taught me to see past color, to see past the flaws that each and every one of us is born with. Everyone has their own opinion on why Michael changed his looks, why he went from black to white, but you know what? When it really comes down to it, it isn't anyones business. Why do people get their noses changed, wear colored contacts, get Botox, or get their breasts enlarged or reduced? It's their choice, and they don't need to get anyone's permission.

I personally think he didn't want people to think of him as a black pop star, but as a person. Just like you and me. He was a boy trapped in a grownup body, like many other people. He was a grownup who never got to have a childhood, never got to lay around all summer long and just play from sunup to sunset. He spent his childhood working, practicing, doing shows, and trying to live up to the expectations of everyone in his family. I could truly empathize with him. Having lived the life that I had as a child, If I had unlimited money, I would have bought a Neverland and gotten exotic animals. I would have also wanted to share it with other children. Truthfully, tell me you wouldn't have wanted a Neverland when you were a child or now as an adult!

Soapbox;

Now for the man who hid from us, who covered his face and the faces of his children. What do you expect? He wanted to be left alone. Have you ever listened to any of his songs? He was accused of crimes that were awful. Even when he went to trial and was found innocent of those crimes, the damage was done. He was plastered all over tabloids and magazines. Every move he made he was watched, like so many other stars. I must say that if I were followed 24 hours a day 7 days a week every day of my life, I would probably be called all sorts of things. What happens when an awful picture is taken of you? You throw it away, or your loving friend or family member throws it away. How would you like it if they sold it to the highest bidder? Then to have it plastered on the cover of all the tabloids and magazines? Not fun, I'd have to say. How would that make you feel about yourself every day?

I do have to say that I am really upset with the media coverage about his children. Hello! They are children and they just lost the most important person in their lives. Back off, people! These innocent children have had their lives dragged through the mud after just losing their dad. Who cares who their biological dad was? They were Michael's children and he loved them. That's what these children need to hear, not all the garbage.

I have decided not to buy tabloid magazines anymore. I would buy them when I would go on trips to pass the time on the plane, but no more. I will not give anyone any reason to scrutinize someone else's life. I can not imagine what my life would be like if people followed me around all the time. Selling the pictures of me not at my best, or of me not in the best mood, along with the good pictures. I have to say I would lose my mind if everywhere I went people were trying to get the dirt on me. I have heard people say "the stars love the attention" or "they knew what they were getting into when they wanted to become famous." My reply to that is when I had children I thought I knew what I was getting into, and I was wrong on many accounts. Does it mean I'm not happy I had children? Of course not! I wouldn't trade them for anything and I love them beyond measure, but it is harder than I thought it would be.

Last but not least I want us all to think of what kind of society we are creating for our children and grandchildren when the people who entertain us on the screen are also the people we judge by standards that we ourselves would not want to be judged by. We watch them every minute to make or break them. Remember back when the only pictures we had of our favorite entertainers were the ones they actually posed for? I think we should go back to then. This is their JOB. Let them leave it at work so they can try to have somewhat normal lives.

Invisible Mother.

2009-03-05T20:14:25Z

I received this in an email and loved it. I don't know who the original author is but I thought it was so true. I hope you enjoy!

Invisible Mother.....

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.' I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude - but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .
I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, no one will ever see it." And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.' I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.
At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOMS!

Twilight the Movie

2009-01-17T22:15:24Z

I have thought long and hard about what I wanted to say about the movie Twilight. I want to first say, that yes I was one of those crazy fans that actually counted down the days for it's release and yes I did see it on the first day. In all I actually saw the movie 3 times. The first time I was with a big group of good friends who were all excited about seeing it. I think my first response after seeing the first time was disappointment. I liked it. I thought it could have been directed better and written much better. I thought most of the actors played their parts the best that they could with what they had to work with. I think that Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had pretty good chemistry. I didn't feel that Catherine Hardwicke showed a good portrait of Bella. I also didn't feel the screen writer did her justice. I personally didn't like the weird extras that the director added. It could have been a spectacular movie and I felt it was mediocre. I loved Alice. She was fun and exactly as I pictured her.

Now having said all of this I feel I need to say how much more I enjoyed the movie the second time. I guess I was prepared for it. I was able to enjoy it more knowing that it wasn't the magnificent movie that I wanted it to be. I saw more details and enjoyed the chemistry more. So will I buy this movie YES and I will get it on the first day it is released.